Jd Royal


Back Again!

by Jocks Jocks posted Aug 1 2012 9:25PM

Hello again, Kix Country! I still haven't managed to come up with a nifty way to send pictures of the stuff that happens to me right to my blog, but I've spent the last few weeks working toward that goal. In the meantime, I may have a viable solution...

Until I can give you some sweet photo action, I'll give you the next best thing: an illustrated version of the stuff that happens when I'm kicking around the Shoals area. I may not have been blessed with the artistic talent to come up with a photo-realistic representation, but I'm a firm believer in the ability of the stick figure to capture the true essence of existence.

Yesterday turned out to be a day where I was walking around my neighborhood in the early afternoon. It's not something that happens to me very often, which at least partially explains why my neighbors seem to look at me like I'm an alien visiting from another planet.

Generally I manage to get by with nods and waves when it comes to my neighbors, which works out best in the long run, but today one of my neighbors made a point to ask me if I wasn't the guy with the little dog a couple of houses up the block. I am, and there didn't seem to be any reason to deny it.

She proceeded to warn me that there was an owl in residence somewhere in the neighborhood and that I should keep an eye on my dog.
This is the point where you'll start to realize why I try to limit the amount of conversation I have with strangers. I was immediately really excited about the idea of seeing an owl swooping around in my back yard, raining vengeance on the squirrels that are chewing apart my roof, and generally making the place sound more like a cool movie set.

You might already have considered what's coming, but I can tell you right now that I still had no idea why this lady was warning me about the owl. My dog weighs around thirty pounds, although she looks kinda smallish. In any case, she'd make a pretty good meal for even an enormous owl. She also doesn't really go outside unless she's with me or my wife, which should make it even less likely that an owl would decide to jump out at her. That's why I immediately blurted out how stoked I would be to see an owl hanging around. This is my best approximation of the face the lady made.

This is also the point where I should have realized what was going on, but it is not, in fact, that point. I was still picturing squirrels rushing to pack their cheeks with belongings and move to another neighborhood with a half-unconscious grin on my face when she told me that the owl had 'gotten' their little dachsund the night before.

I'd be lying if I told you I wised up at that point. I assumed that the owl had injured little Porkchop at best, and to be honest I don't really know that that isn't true, so continue to believe that if you like. Or that he scared the owl off. That's what I'm imagining, and was pretty much still imagining until a block later when I realized how odd it must have been for my neighbor to be telling me that story while I stood there looking off into the distance with a little bit of a grin. That's the point where I made this face.

Filed Under :
Topics : Human Interest
08/01/2012 9:25PM
Back Again!
Please Enter Your Comments Below
08/01/2012 10:48PM
Brilliant I think stick figure comics are going to be making a comeback!
08/02/2012 5:01PM
I second the motion!
08/03/2012 7:46PM
JD update
Porkchop is fine, btw. saw him the next day :)
08/20/2012 10:24AM
Too Funny
This is great!
Title :
Comment :